just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
