For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
