too bad you live with your parents still
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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