You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
as a side note pls kill me
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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