You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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