Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My life is pants optional.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
