He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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