the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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