And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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