worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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