At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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