Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
