I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
