can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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