I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize