Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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