just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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