it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
