she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
