yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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