I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
