Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
