Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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