either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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