You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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