It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
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Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
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You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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