i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
