I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize