Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.

Fav 13 4008 993
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(719): View more from Colorado

Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."

Fav 17 3520 939
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk

Fav 6 4503 862
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(906): View more from Michigan

he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor

Fav 4 3258 1240
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(212): View more from New York

The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane

Fav 7 2319 1227
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(571): View more from Virginia

Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face

Fav 6 889 834
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk

Fav 8 1109 608
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe

Fav 2 199 94
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(410): View more from Maryland

That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.

Fav 0 54 9
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