I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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