i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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