I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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