just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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