he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
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he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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