Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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