i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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