so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
