Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
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