last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
