My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
