Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
