I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
