Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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