I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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