I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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