Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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