I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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