Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
