I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
it glows. i had to have it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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