Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
