Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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