It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
