I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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