So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
