I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
