I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
