first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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